Take this away I silently scream Where is my heart? I search for it over and over What has become of me? An angry bitter old man of forty-three years That can't stand the reflection in the mirror Constantly hurting those I love Living today like it is made of worry I stress the senseless Let it captivate my mind So I don't sleep I wake in sweat Drowning in my pointless endeavors of the past day Carry them over to the next like a very heavy bag that does not need to be the very center of my existence. When the epicenter is right there in front of my eyes The love I have for my family and friends Should be my sanctuary every waking moment But no my hate for my self so strong Eats at my very soul and I ask why? Why do you become this hurtful vengeance driven human being Because I refuse to see the light Those eyes looking back at me with unconditional love Those words of encouragement will not be daggers no more I will chose to stare back at the light and encourage it to shine more bright Guide me out of this darkness that's been there since I can remember Take my hand and say everything is going to be ok This is my true desire.