My dad was once a teacher
At a village school in Africa
For four months
His salary was withheld
But for his mental health
And escape from kwashiorkor
He abandoned it for engineering
As a kid
I concluded mathematics teachers were wrestlers
With classrooms turned into rings
Foreheads were slammed countlessly
On cold mornings
That looked like WWE nights
For failing simple arithmetic
Though an agriculturist
My veins bleed mathematics
With addition being a knife
And bread substituting subtraction
I slice figures for margarine unions
That bind arithmetic in concretized brains
With a cupboard like trouser
And wagon shoe to match
I headed off for GDJSS
For a recruitment interview
With my face mask on
I coughed loudly
Are you Mr Covid-22?
Asked the lanky head teacher
For 50 years now
We haven’t had a stable mathematics tutor
Why? I interrupted
For solving a 3 page algebraic surd
Students killed Mr Taiwo
Mr Jack cracked a puzzle
Only to be detained by a psychiatrist
Mrs Jane attempted trigonometry
But was bisected into a chord
We admire your courage
Like Lauren Singer
Who winnows sacks of poetries yearly
For Jendi Reiter
Preparing winning porridge
Walking down the class corridor
Students remained seat glued
Like rusted bolts
On a London rail
Prior to my coming
Students dreaded mathematics
As lesson bell rings
Seats turn dusty
While transformed bats fly windows
Scrambling for safe havens
Good day Sir
Buzzed the beehived class
With smiles like a twinkled star
I nodded like a lizard
For everyone to sit down
Mathematics can sometimes be easy
And many times tough
Like tendons of a Christmas goat
Canine tears
Molars chew
Till chevon becomes capretto
You have 3 fingers
Don’t you?
No!
How many have you?
10
How many hairs have you?
Infinite!
But that’s mathematics jargon
As nerves relaxed
I scribbled: Solve X
-3x+2=0
*Using trial and error method
X-3x+2
Multiply X by 2 =2X
Find factors of 2X
The numbers are -2X and -X
Substitute them into the equation and eliminate the middle term
X-2X-X+2=0
Factorize X(X-2) -1(X-2) =0
(X-1) (X-2)=0
X-1=0 X-2=0
Collect terms X=1 or X=2
*Using quadratic formula method
-b±
Let X=a, -3X=b, +2=c
Substitute the numerical coefficient into the formula
a=1, b=-3 and c=+2
--3±
Expand the brackets
3±
3±
3+1
or 3-
X= 4/2 or 2/2
X=2 or X=1
Do you all understand?
With a roof raising applause
Students chanted
“Simple subject mathematics
It has to do with numbers
One, two
Listen to your teacher
Do assignments read your books
I discovered a simple subject”
Now solve this… 2X-7X+4=0 ?