GOD-DOG Days Forever
I fly 50 light years with no problems and then, crash land, who knows where. That’s the last time I use that cheap Martian GPS. I’ll have better luck if I get out and ask someone where I am. I’ll ask that guy walking his dog.
“Sir, oh sir, can you tell me where I am? My ship crashed over there in that field and I don’t have a clue as to where I’m at in this galaxy. Can you help me?”
It surprised the hell out of me when the dog turned around and with a strange look said, “You can talk? Why are you walking around by yourself? Where’s your owner? “ What the heck is going on here?
What kind of planet have I landed on? This doesn’t make sense, a talking dog and the person with him is wearing a leash and peeing on that tree. Oh boy, wait till I get back home. That store that sold me the GPS is going to hear about this.
“Well, first of all, I’m not from here and second, I don’t have, nor do I need an owner. I’m from Earth and humans like me are not owned by anyone, no offense but especially by a dog.”
“Wow! Did you say Earth? “He replied and then immediately, bent his front legs, dropping to what must be considered his knees and began bowing his head up and down while wagging his tail.
“Wait, don’t do that. All I want is directions on how to get back to Earth. Can you show me?”
He stood up slowly and said, “Yes your Royal Highness, I can do that but first you must come with me to meet with the Great Council. He will only be alive a couple more hours but he always insists that if any Earthling shows up that he must meet them.”
“What are you talking about? How do you know he’s going to die in a couple hours?”
“Surely you've heard on Earth the dog years versus human years? He’s at the end of his time frame and must die. On Earth all life spans are much longer than ours. One of your years equals 1000 of ours Your Royal Highness.”
“Why do you keep calling me Royal Highness? My name is James and I’m a space voyager, not a king.” “Oh, but your Royal Highness, my people have long worshiped life forms from Earth. Our first God came from Earth and took a mate here to begin our race. He is known to us as Wow. I believe on Earth he was known as Anubis. He lived in the region you refer to as Egypt. If not for him, we would still be running around in wild packs and chasing our tails. Come now, we must go see the Great Council.”
We walked through the streets, stopping once for him to piss on a tree. Later we passed a statue of Anubis and he stopped to bow to Wow. Interesting, that must be how we got the phrase, bow wow. Sorry, now is not the time for space humor.
It was driving me crazy watching this dog pull the leash and that human running along to catch up to him. I sure wasn’t going to complain, at least not until I get directions on how to get the hell out of here but I wonder what he’d do if I throw him a bone?
Maybe I’ll find out later but for now, looking around, it’s really strange how all the houses look like small pyramids with doors that I can only describe as swinging doggy doors like we have on our doors back home for the pet dog to go in and out of the house.
We came to a huge pyramid with two gigantic bones at the entrance as decoration. The dog howled and the door opened into a big room filled other dogs and on the walls were paintings of dogs wearing crowns and beautiful flowing red capes. A horn sounded and a huge dog walked in with a crown and wearing a cape similar to the ones in the paintings. The dog with me again fell to his knees and bowed and all the other dogs in the room did too. He tugged at my pant leg for me to do the same but all I did was bow my head and wait for the Great Council to speak or bark or whatever he does.
The Great Council said to me, “Your Royal Highness, my name is Dane. Please call me Great Dane.”
Oh my God, this is too much but I’ll play along and I said with a smile, “Your Great Dane, my ship crashed and I’m in need of directions back to Earth. Can you please help me?”
He looked back at me with a surprised look; almost as though I was yanking his chain. Seemingly dissatisfied with my question, he replied. “Your Royal Highness, I must inform you that that request will be impossible. You were sent here for a reason. Your destiny is being fulfilled now, as our GOD - DOG forever. Per my calculations, my time will end within the hour and the Heavens have sent you to be our spiritual leader, our GOD – DOG now and forever more.
Look around you, your subjects await you. Do not disappoint them Your Royal Highness.
WOW has spoken.
Suddenly my arms and entire body began growing hair, no, wait, its fur and I’m feeling something poking me in my butt. I looked around and a tail began protruding through my uniform.
I mumbled softly and then screamed out loud,
“Oh my God, he can’t be right, not forever, Oh My GOD – DOG!”