Famous Billy Madison Quotations

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"Billy T-T-T-T-Today, Junior"
by Billy Madison
"Billy Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out."
by Billy Madison
"Billy Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool Really."
by Billy Madison
"Billy No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll."
by Billy Madison
"Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me"
by Billy Madison
"Juanita Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too."
by Billy Madison
"Principal Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
by Billy Madison
"Principal Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap."
by Billy Madison
"I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out."
by Billy Madison
"Mr. Madison, what you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
by Billy Madison


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