Famous Birthday Quotations

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"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
by Robert Frost
"The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape."
by Samuel Johnson
"There was a star danced, and under that was I born."
by Anonymous
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday, ... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
by Art Buchwald
"Washington's birthday is as close to a secular Christmas as any Christian country dare come this side of blasphemy."
by Anonymous
"We have had extraordinary requests. We rented Concorde for a private birthday party to go to the Bahamas -- it cost $1 million each way."
by Aaron Simpson
"With the Warner-Lambert merger completed, and having recently reached my 64th birthday, it is a good time to share with you my plans for retirement and for executive succession."
by William Steere
"Youth is the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor."
by Source Unknown
"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."
by Source Unknown
"He said he loved his son, that he'd just had a one-year birthday, so we started working that angle, and that seemed to be working. ... The only thing he wanted was to see his child. He told Kelly he wanted to say goodbye. Obviously we were not going to do that."
by Tony Gomez
"I couldn't ask for anything better on my birthday than having the cup in my hands. It was a fantastic weekend and a wonderful team effort."
by Steve Costalas
"I think Marty was really surprised. He had been complaining all day that nobody had called about his birthday."
by Anonymous
"I remember two years ago a bunch of us went out on the boat and it was my birthday. We had a great time out there. That's the little things you miss. Johnny was a great person. He was the first guy to step in front of the media when things weren't right, when things were right."
by Anonymous
"It's a weird thing, it seems I play every year on my birthday, but I always lose."
by Anonymous
"John recently had his 32nd birthday party with six Playboy bunnies and a naked fruit lady."
by Anonymous
"Old age is not for sissies."
by Malcolm Forbes
"Our software allows agents to send out automatic e-greetings on birthdays, anniversary, the changing of the clocks twice a year. Remembering customers at times they would not expect you to remember them has a strong emotional appeal."
by Bob Woehrle
"One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics."
by Anonymous
"It'll be my favorite birthday."
by Matt Traverso
"Here's a posy of flowers, and a basket too, With Birthday greetings all for you."
by Source Unknown
"Here lies interred in the eternity of the past, from whence there is no resurrection for the days -- whatever there may be for the dust -- the thirty-third year of an ill-spent life, which, after a lingering disease of many months sank into a lethargy, and expired, January 22d, 1821, A.D. leaving a successor inconsolable for the very loss which occasioned its existence."
by Anonymous
"I am planning on getting my son a bow for his birthday. By having him take this class and rent a bow, I know what kind to get him."
by Anonymous
"I got my first pilot lessons for my 16th birthday, ... I was scared the first time I tried it, but I fell in love with it and have been flying off and on ever since."
by Eric Hoffman
"At seventy-seven it is time to be earnest."
by Anonymous
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
by Erma Bombeck
"A diplomatic husband said to his wife, 'How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?'"
by Anonymous
"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday."
by John Herschel Glenn, Jr.
"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."
by Steven Wright
"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments"
by Benjamin Franklin
"How many observe Christ's birthday How few, his precepts O 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments."
by Benjamin Franklin
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
by Steven Wright
"I've never looked forward to a birthday like I'm looking forward to my new daughter's birthday, because two days after that is when I can apply for reinstatement."
by Pete Rose
"In conclusion, there is a marvelous anecdote from the occasion of Russell's ninetieth birthday that best serves to summarize his attitude toward God and religion. A London lady sat next to him at this party, and over the soup she suggested to him that he was not only the world's most famous atheist but, by this time, very probably the world's oldest atheist. 'What will you do, Bertie, if it turns out you're wrong' she asked. 'I mean, what if--uh--when the time comes, you should meet Him What will you say' Russell was delighted with the question. His birght, birdlike eyes grew even brighter as he contempalated this possible future dialogue, and then he pointed a finger upward and cried, 'Why, I should say, 'God, you gave us insufficient evidence.' '"
by Al Seckel
"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the Queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends."
by Anonymous
"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday."
by Steven Wright
"Never strike a child in anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he is recuperating from the measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday."
by Erma Bombeck
"On Fathers Day, we again wish you all happy birthday."
by Ralph Kiner
"There is still no cure for the common birthday."
by John Glenn
"There is still no cure for the common birthday"
by John Glenn
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Age"
by Robert Frost
"Turning one hundred was the worst birthday of my life. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Turning 101 was not so bad. Once you're past that century mark, it's just not as shocking."
by Annie Elizabeth Delany
"Forty thousand children starve to death each day in the Third World.  One fifth of the children in the poorer countries die of malnutrition and lack of clean water and basic medical care before their fifth birthday.  Two hundred and fifty million children worldwide are going blind through lack of vitamin A in their diet."
by UNICEF report
"About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm."
by Kurt Vonnegut
"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."
by Eleanor Roosevelt
"Wierd Error Messages: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (sole response from a malfunctioning motherboard) I DON'T EAT RASINS. (From a Data General AOS/VS System)"
by Fossel
"The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. Death"
by Lucius Annaeus Seneca
"It's Your Birthday"
by Anonymous
"Happy Birthday"
by Anonymous
"In conclusion, there is a marvelous anecdote from the occasion of Russell's ninetieth birthday that best serves to summarize his attitude toward God and religion. A London lady sat next to him at this party, and over the soup she suggested to him that he was not only the world's most famous atheist but, by this time, very probably the world's oldest atheist. What will you do, Bertie, if it turns out you're wrong? she asked. I mean, what if -- uh -- when the time comes, you should meet Him? What will you say? Russell was delighted with the question. His bright, birdlike eyes grew even brighter as he contemplated this possible future dialogue, and then he pointed a finger upward and cried, Why, I should say, 'God, you gave us insufficient evidence.'"
by Al Seckel
"Midnight, and the clock strikes. It is Christmas Day, the werewolves birthday, the door of the solstice still wide enough open to let them all slink through."
by Angela Carter
"Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK."
by Anonymous
"We placed the wreaths upon the splendid granite sarcophagus, and at its feet, and felt that only the earthly robe we loved so much was there. The pure, tender, loving spirit which loved us so tenderly, is above us -- loving us, praying for us, and free from all suffering and woe -- yes, that is a comfort, and that first birthday in another world must have been a far brighter one than any in this poor world below!"
by Queen Victoria
"From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye...."
by William Butler Yeats


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