Famous David Letterman Quotations

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"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
by David Letterman
"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television."
by David Letterman
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
by David Letterman
"Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!"
by David Letterman
"Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale."
by David Letterman
"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."
by David Letterman
"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."
by David Letterman
"Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing."
by David Letterman
"Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving."
by David Letterman
"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
by David Letterman
"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines."
by David Letterman
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 of the population."
by David Letterman
"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?"
by David Letterman
"You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving."
by David Letterman
"Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis. Advice to his guests"
by David Letterman
"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?"
by David Letterman
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles- watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
by David Letterman
"New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you."
by David Letterman
"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? - Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. - Advising the President. - Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
by David Letterman


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