Famous Joseph Heller Quotations

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"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."
by Joseph Heller
"Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry."
by Joseph Heller
"Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure."
by Joseph Heller
"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
by Joseph Heller
"Catch 22"
by Joseph Heller
"Every writer I know has trouble writing."
by Joseph Heller
"He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt."
by Joseph Heller
"He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it."
by Joseph Heller
"I intend to live forever or die trying."
by Joseph Heller
"so convincing were those dreams of being awake that he woke from them in a state of complete exhaustion, and had to go straight back to sleep again."
by Joseph Heller
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."
by Joseph Heller
"There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to."
by Joseph Heller
"We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist."
by Joseph Heller
"And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways', Yossarian continued 'There's nothing mysterious about it, He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about, a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatalogical mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"
by Joseph Heller Catch 22
"I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long."
by Joseph Heller
"That's the kind of God you people talk about - a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much revernece can you have for a supreme being who finds it necassary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His system of creation?"
by Joseph Heller Catch-22
"He had decided to live for ever or die in the attempt."
by Joseph Heller


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